Who can you trust?
Can you change a person’s mind? Can you make them see your point of view? Can you see theirs? How do we teach empathy? Is it possible to not agree, to feel as if you’ve been wronged by another person & love them anyway? Forgive them anyway? Against your logic, your ego, & your baggage?
we are all being asked to look within for our own truth. being influenced by another has gotten out of hand. How do you know who to trust?
Start with yourself.
A Freelance Mindset
The skills I learned to survive as a freelance designer has come in handy for navigating both parenthood & pandemic. The biggest piece: mindset.
it was important to have rituals get me from one mindset to the next when freelancing full-time. the environment wasn’t changing — I worked, lived, & played from home. rituals transitioned me away or towards work.
Mornings started with exercise & breakfast (something for me) before client emails & meetings (something for them). I was in control of my day instead of the client determining my day. We were all in it together. I could remember that was true if I gave time to myself first.
A couple of hours of focused work, then food again. it was often with a book, podcast, show, or nap. topics unrelated to work. Sometimes it was out of the house (library, coffee shop, porch, trail) to truly step away from the physical place of responsibility.
Afternoon work was often slower, more distracted with personal errands & tasks, but work nonetheless. the day would end welcoming Joel home, a walk with Tiger, a glass of wine on the porch, or a beer at the local watering hole in the winter. Dinner with friends, a show, workout, or a book. bedtime routine.
rinse & repeat until the weekend.
Not very glamorous but it took me years to discover a template. I’m proud of my findings. I enjoy the stability of a routine. then breaking it here & there.
It’s important to know triggers & red flags. Then you can combat them. “Ok that helped. that didn’t.” You troubleshoot, you’re in conversation with yourself, & you keep going.
I’m grateful for freelancing first in my career. It gave me the essentials of boundary-setting, personal reflection, a wellness-first mindset, & daydreaming.
Now I use those tools for both parenthood & pandemic. who would’ve thought?
Sabbatical
My blog is many things; confidante, walk-in closet, workroom, cheerleader, podium.
One thing it is not? Consistent. Because life isn’t consistent. All of the stories that are not mine faded away when I acknowledged consistency isn't my purpose here. It left the story that is mine standing at the forefront. Crisp & clear.
So, where have I been? I’ve been teaching, traveling, running, kickboxing, visiting, saving. I’ve been on sabbatical from translating my life to make space for my life’s transformations.
Of course, translation & transformation can be in the same room together. They’re good friends who have established healthy boundaries. They know one another’s drink order & hobbies. When one needs solitude the other is ready to gather. Translation & transformation leave space for each other because they’ve learned together they make one whole.
I am not twitchy about these necessary shifts as I was in my early years of writing. I feared these gaps of not writing would make me irrelevant. All of this work would be meaningless & I, too, with it.
But the gaps are where all the juicy nourishment lives. It is in the unspoken, unseen, & undocumented where the sweetness lies for the writer, for the reader to eventually enjoy.
May I remember in the chaotic storm that is creation & inspiration — it is the gaps where we are reborn.
Rest But Don't You Quit
I had grand plans for some posts coming up on spring style, creativity, and new lettering & design work but guess what happened?
Life.
I've had a few hard reminders this past year and because I'm not great at asking for help and don't like sharing heavy things you haven't heard much about it. All is ultimately well but I'll be away from this little corner of mine for the next few weeks – I have a couple of big projects that require full attention and being fully present with some promises I've kept to friends & family.
I've been reading and reflecting A LOT on how I want my business to grow and just what is going on with our Life at the moment? Maybe some other Enneagram 1's or Perfectionists can relate to this mindset of needing to slow down and reflect before you implode?
One of the things I love about this space carved out here is it's this little safe place for me to explore, wonder, and create with you. It's truly changed my life in so many ways I can't quite fathom. This quote resonates with me right now and I'm going to take the next few weeks to do that.
“If you get tired learn to rest not to quit.”
The old Emily would have none of this. There was no quitting or resting. Only pushing on, getting better, doing more. Work, work, work. I accomplished many tasks I'm proud of but my body, mind, and soul are a bit weary from all work and no play. I owe it to myself to give myself rest and to be intentional with my days. If this is something that's been on your back burner lately too, maybe this can be a reminder for you too.
Celebrating the slower pace of life is one of the reasons I started a quarterly newsletter. A final quote that touched me & made me retreat with grace for the moment:
“I want first of all — in fact, as an end to these other desires — to be at peace with myself. I want a singleness of eye, a purity of intention, a central core to my life that will enable me to carry out these obligations and activities as well as I can. I want, in fact — to borrow from the language of the saints — to live “in grace” as much of the time as possible. I am not using this term in a strictly theological sense. By grace I mean an INNER HARMONY, ESSENTIALLY SPIRITUAL, which can be translated into OUTWARD HARMONY.”
Happy Spring Equinox! May you soak it all up. xo, Em
Matcha Latte Recipe
I'm near the end of my 3-month wellness program with a nutritionist, Diane Teall Evans. I won't go into all the details of how amazing it's been (not enough time), but I want to share how Diane completely proved me wrong. At the beginning of the Root Cause Reset program, she had me write out my goals for our time together. They were lofty and there were a lot of them. I noted that I will never get to a place where I don't need, want, or crave coffee.
And I was wrong. After a lot of hard work shifting my diet and lifestyle, taking Diane's recommendations, trying new recipes, recognizing when I'm stressed, and doing something healthy about it, I have come to a place where I wake up with energy. I no longer look for my own power at the bottom of an empty mug.
I'm not caffeine-free and probably never will be but I've found a good alternative to limit how much coffee I have in a day. During a stressful week, it's worse for me to have coffee because it heightens anxiety and cortisol levels. My focus is off and my head feels scattered. Reducing the amount of coffee I have makes me enjoy it more when I do have it. I love Diane's salted fat mocha recipe for my coffee days. On stress days (AKA deadlines, full schedule, trying to fit too much in) I make a matcha latte.
Simple & Quick Matcha Latte Recipe
Boil water
Add 1 tbsp. of matcha powder (matcha green tea latte dry mix at Trader Joe's)
Add milk of your choice (I'm loving Elmhurst oat and cashew milk lately)
Having a special mug makes it more like a treat too. My favorite mugs are my mom's, East Fork Pottery, and little delicate cute ones I find at thrift stores that speak to me.
Pin for later:
Self-Care for Creatives: Take a Break
The #iamlovingme challenge I started last month has proved how little I've been taking care of myself. I realized myself is at the end of the list from observing my daily self-care routines. Probably why I was out sick with the flu recently. Joel made a rule I COULD NOT go on any screens and I'm so grateful for his gentle nudge because I couldn't seem to turn work off on my own. What was most eye-opening to me was how wound up I was and I didn't even know it. My body was showing signs (waking up in the middle of the night, night sweats, irritability, foggy head) and I ignored them, rationalized them away. Isn't it scary how easy that is?!
All the screen-time made me not even realize what my body was trying to tell me! I think my tech use has gotten way out of control and it's become a health issue for people whose jobs are centered around screens (influencers, bloggers, designers, writers, etc.). Any resources or rec's you like on this topic? I want to learn more about it.
Self-Care for Creatives: Take a Break | Brave Girl blog, #iamlovingme west michigan blogger campaign
Self-care prompt: Take a Break
The flu & too much tech-inspired this week's self-care prompt. If you've been grinding like me this winter, TAKE A BREAK. Not an Instagram story showing you're taking a break, like a true break where no one knows you even did it. From the phone, social media, the noise. Whatever distraction is keeping you from checking in with yourself. Or just giving your mind a moment of silence or simply being.
“I have found the strength of retreat and silence that taps the feminine power of introspection and receiving answers. It has been good to understand the art of self-exploration, because through the feminine principle, I have learned the wisdom of loving myself.”
Self-Care for Creatives: Take a Break | Brave Girl blog, #iamlovingme west michigan blogger campaign
I've been trying to change an unhealthy pattern I've struggled with since college. Every 6 months or so I come down with a really intense cold that puts me out for 3-5 days. My body aches and my head pounds yet I still try to push through. But then I just can't keep going at that pace and all I do is sleep. It's the only time my mind, body, soul truly rests and it's because I'm so broken down I can't do anything. This is NOT healthy! But I don't know what to do about it. I've been trying a lot of things to become mindful and restful as a daily habit in hopes to shift this cycle. The stress will crush you little by little. I've been making lifestyle changes the last couple of years and trying to learn more about my body and what's healthy but there are things I'd like to tweak and be more aware of. Any resources or rec's you have with this would be great to know also!
Self-care prompt: Give yourself 30 minutes of solitude a day
So, let's try it out this week! Let's focus on work and then turn it off. Like really turn it off when the day is done. I just signed up for March Meditation Challenge by AM Yoga – 28 days of meditation to see if meditating daily will help to quiet my mental chatter and slow down a bit. It's a free challenge. I'd love you to join me if it feels right for you. There's a FB group for accountability with other people who are in the challenge too.
Other free resources I enjoy:
The challenge is technically over but I'm still going strong with #iamlovingme on Instagram. Follow along & tag your self-care tips and techniques. I'd love to learn more.
How do you diffuse mental chatter? What are some healthy tips & techniques you do to reduce stress?
Have a great week! xo, Em
Creative Business Chats foster conversation and community amongst creatives seeking tips for getting started. Includes behind the scenes of freelance/business ownership. See all chats here.
Self-Care for Creatives: Why it isn't a luxury
Get your sweat on: walk, run, yoga...
As I mentioned last week, I'm doing a self-care challenge this February with a little help from my friends. I did more digging into what self-care is and want to share why you don't need to make purchases to take care of yourself. Reading Self Care 101 on the Girl Boss website shifted my perspective on self-care big time. I often associate self-care with buying things but it isn't the only or even the best way to practice it.
How to practice self-care as an entrepreneur (source: Girlboss)
Self-Care for Creatives: Get your sweat on | Brave Girl blog, #iamlovingme west michigan blogger campaign | photo by Leigh Ann Cobb photography
Luxurious or large proclamations aren't necessary to practice daily self-care. It's all about the intention behind our actions really. Of course healthy food, fitness memberships, and workout gear will cost something but I'm talking about using a purchase as an excuse to delay working out (I'm so guilty of this!). I've rationalized starting yoga only once I buy a new pair of yoga pants.
Just YouTube yoga, lay down a towel, and move those hips to downward dog, chica!
Self-Care for Creatives: Get your sweat on | Brave Girl blog, #iamlovingme west michigan blogger campaign
Self-care prompt: walk, run, yoga...
So let's get our sweat on this week. Especially with it being a week full of love. However that shows up for you, go for it. You might not even need new gear. This time of year is SO HARD for me to simply MOVE and it definitely affects my mind, body, well-being in a nasty way. I have a few more days of my yoga membership at Funky Buddha Yoga Hothouse so I'll be sweating it out there, taking Tiger for long walks, and a fun dance class with a few girlfriends that I always feel amazing after doing.
Resources if you need a starting point: AM Yoga meditation & flows free podcast (thanks Megan!) / Bad Yogi YouTube free videos / WERQ class at Live.Dance.Move for $6 drop-in
Let me know if you're doing it with me by tagging a photo or story of your workout with #iamlovingme on Instagram. I'd love to cheer you on. Have a great week! xo, Em
Creative Business Chats foster conversation and community amongst creatives seeking tips for getting started. Includes behind the scenes of freelance/business ownership. See all chats here.
Self-Care for Creatives: Why writing relieves stress
Write for 10 minutes to yourself this week
There is nothing quite like waking up to coffee, lighting a candle, and writing without an agenda for 10-20 minutes to start your day. I used to roll my eyes at the thought of a slow morning. Concerned that starting slow would mean missing out. But writing for even 10 minutes before hopping on email or rushing to a meeting isn't as counterintuitive as it seems. It sets the pace for my day and allows me to focus on one thing at a time, which is truly all we can do successfully anyways.
I started doing this a couple of years ago from a prompt in The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. The idea is to write stream of consciousness in a journal to get it all out. I do it a few times a week in a journal for my eyes only. Sometimes in the morning, but not always. Sometimes I throw the pages away to clear my head or get the negative emotions out which tend to run rampant in my mind if I don't actively remove them.
Self-Care for Creatives: Write in a morning journal | Brave Girl blog, #iamlovingme west michigan blogger campaign | photo by Leigh Ann Cobb photography
Self-Care for Creatives: Write in a morning journal | Brave Girl blog, #iamlovingme west michigan blogger campaign
A self-care prompt for this week:
Gift yourself a journal and write a few times this week for 10-20 minutes. Maybe a set time just to hold yourself accountable to a new habit. I like to include a nice little note to myself at the end; we are to others as we are first to ourselves.
Journals if you need a starting point: Rifle Co. Botanicals Notebooks / Moleskine Soft Cover Journal/ Classic Marble Composition Notebook
Let me know if you're doing it with me by tagging a photo or story of your journal with #iamlovingme on Instagram. I'd love to cheer you on. Have a great week! xo, Em
Creative Business Chats foster conversation and community amongst creatives seeking tips for getting started. Includes behind the scenes of freelance/business ownership. See all chats here.