April | Life Lately
Happy April Full Moon! This is the first full moon of Spring 2020. A sign of hope, yes? I imagine our days are looking pretty similar to one another right now. A lot of nothing bookended by a range of emotions from one moment to the next. Today I choose hope because the candle is lit, it’s an early Spring morning after a fresh rainfall, & the coffee is warm.
Nursery | We’re getting the nursery ready for baby girl. My parents gifted us with a beautiful bassinet that Joel set up this weekend. It’s feeling very real now! That and her kicks & pokes that get stronger by the day. I don’t know if I’m in “nesting mode” but an urgent need to ensure we have the basics in time for her arrival is at an all-time high. We’ve ordered large furniture items through Wayfair, Joel’s giving the room a fresh coat of paint, & I’ve been getting the items together that family & friends have sent. We had to cancel both family’s showers so it’s felt extra special to receive registry gifts from our loved ones & everyone who has offered words of wisdom & newborn items to borrow that are hard to find in stores right now. Their words of encouragement & support keep us going on especially hard days.
Indoor Style | A good distraction for me has been #indoorstyle, a daily prompt by stylist Grace Kelly. From mixing patterns to Wes Anderson-inspired attire, I look forward to getting dressed around the theme she announces each day. It’s made me realize how serious I’ve become with my wardrobe, a direct reflection of how serious of a person I’ve become. How little I’ve laughed, played, or been extravagant for the hell of it. I’m so grateful this little challenge brought me back to creating for fun. I have a feeling my costume box is about to grow exponentially.
WFH | I have the studio & Joel has the kitchen. Sans pandemic, working from home is normal to me. I’ve fine-tuned my habits since freelancing over the years. What’s been most challenging is keeping a strong & healthy mindset; pregnant, my partner home, & away from my team who I’m rather new to. I absorb collective feelings so setting digital boundaries are crucial for my mental wellbeing. I love the newfound connection & kindness it’s brought to my circle though. I made some WFH Wallpapers for Chaco if you’d like to brighten up your desktop, download here.
Currently
Reading | Expecting Better by Emily Oster
Listening | Won’t He Do It by Koryn Hawthorne ft. Roshon Fegan, thanks to DJ E’s weekly gospel hour
Watching | IRIS the Iris Apfel documentary
There isn’t really anything different I can say that hasn’t already been said or felt. I keep wanting to help through my writing but I just don’t think it’s possible right now. I’m the one who wants help, consoling, encouragement. Which is selfish because don’t we all? Each of us has a personal story about how this pandemic is affecting our lives. It’s hard to say, “me too” when you’re so fearful all you can think about is yourself.
I wouldn’t be as anxious or fearful about this pandemic if I wasn’t pregnant. I’d probably play looser with the stay-at-home orders to ensure we had toilet paper or interact with family more. I’d definitely be playing zoom drinking games to numb out of this mess if only for a few hours. But I’m really just petrified for the safety of our little girl who I’m 100% responsible for right now. I feel trapped at home yet completely exposed for the few trips I need to take to the doctors to ensure she’s doing ok.
There is literally nothing I can do but have faith, which has to be the biggest challenge of all. I used to be a more faithful & hopeful person but I lost it somewhere. Probably in all the controlling & carrying the perceived weight of my world. I haven’t seen the moon since she was last full in March. The skies have been too gray. Hopefully, she’ll show this week. Remind us all that we’re human. That there is light in the deepest dark. That the deepest dark is actually the only time you can see the brightest light. You can see all full moon posts here.
Happy Full Moon, friends! xo, Em
