Motherhood Book List
I'm obsessed with searching for authors, artists, and stories of motherhood with Mother as the protagonist. It's become a hobby of mine when the baby sleeps. Like an archaeologist excavating for lost bones to discover an answer to history, to fill in the blanks. I am searching for depth that will make me feel seen.
A storyteller that will speak her truth even if it makes her look bad. Even if it makes her liked less. I am searching for a mirror. This compiled list is what I've excavated so far:
Non-Fiction
A Ghost in the Throat
Doireann Ní Ghríofa
The prose begins, “This is a female text.”
“Composed while folding someone else’s clothes”, this is a work that is intensely domestic, encompassing the sweet mundanities of banana goo and toast crusts as well as the pains of birth and death. The rhythm of the text, its circling back to the routines of young motherhood, the tolls on and triumphs of the body, anchor A Ghost in the Throat firmly in the present, even as its imaginative forays into the past swoop and dive.
The Blue Jay’s Dance: A Memoir of Early Motherhood
Louise Erdrich
Louise Erdrich’s first major work of nonfiction, the New York Times-bestselling The Blue Jay’s Dance brilliantly and poignantly examines the joys and frustrations, the compromises and insights, and the difficult struggles and profound emotional satisfactions the author experienced in the course of one twelve-month period—from a winter pregnancy through a spring and summer of new motherhood to her return to writing in the fall. In exquisitely lyrical prose, Erdrich illuminates afresh the large and small events that every parent will recognize and appreciate.
The introduction immediately makes me feel seen.
Motherhood: Facing and Finding Yourself
Lisa Marchiano
“Motherhood is the true hero’s journey―which is to say that it can be as harrowing as it is joyful, and enlightening as it is exhausting. For Jungian psychoanalyst Lisa Marchiano, this journey is not just an adventure of diaper bags and parent-teacher conferences, but one of intense self-discovery.”
Written in the ‘70s yet frustratingly relevant in 2021. Censoring textbooks sound familiar?
Mothers of Massive Resistance: White Women and the Politics of White Supremacy
by Elizabeth Gillespie McRae
“Examining racial segregation from 1920s to the 1970s, Mothers of Massive Resistance explores the grassroots workers who maintained the system of racial segregation and Jim Crow. For decades in rural communities, in university towns, and in New South cities, white women performed myriad duties that upheld white over black: censoring textbooks, denying marriage certificates, deciding on the racial identity of their neighbors, celebrating school choice, canvassing communities for votes, and lobbying elected officials. They instilled beliefs in racial hierarchies in their children, built national networks, and experimented with a color-blind political discourse. Without these mundane, everyday acts, white supremacist politics could not have shaped local, regional, and national politics the way it did or lasted as long as it has.”
Anne’s dry humor makes me ok that I don’t have a toxic positivity approach to motherhood.
Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son's First Year
by Anne Lamott
“The most honest, wildly enjoyable book written about motherhood is surely Anne Lamott's account of her son Sam's first year. A gifted writer and teacher, Lamott (Crooked Little Heart) is a single mother and ex-alcoholic with a pleasingly warped social circle and a remarkably tolerant religion to lean on. She responds to the changes, exhaustion, and love Sam brings with aplomb or outright insanity. The book rocks from hilarious to unbearably poignant when Sam's burgeoning life is played out against a very close friend's illness. No saccharine paean to becoming a parent, this touches on the rage and befuddlement that dog sweeter emotions during this sea change in one's life.”
Feels like a mix between Motherhood: On Facing & Finding Yourself and The 13 Original Clan Mothers
Landscape of Mothers
by Jill Doneen Clifton
“Landscape of Mothers is a map of the places I had to go in my inner world to reclaim my Self inside my role of mother. The landscapes are the map locations: sun and moon, wind, desert, island, mountain, river, forest, and ocean. Each location has a gift that is important for mothering. For instance, Wind Mother has the gift of trust, Forest Mother's gift is belonging, and River Mother's gift is purpose. Just like when you take a trip, Landscape of Mothers offers a directory of possibilities, but doesn't determine your experience. There are "itineraries" to choose from, but the experience is your own to create.”
Another keeper for the bookshelf to always have on hand. It isn’t as explicitly about Motherhood like the others in the list but Kimmerer’s story about being a mother to her daughters are woven throughout.
Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom Scientific Knowledge and the Teachings of Plants
by Robin Wall Kimmerer
“Drawing on her life as an indigenous scientist, and as a woman, Kimmerer shows how other living beings—asters and goldenrod, strawberries and squash, salamanders, algae, and sweetgrass—offer us gifts and lessons, even if we've forgotten how to hear their voices. In reflections that range from the creation of Turtle Island to the forces that threaten its flourishing today, she circles toward a central argument: that the awakening of ecological consciousness requires the acknowledgment and celebration of our reciprocal relationship with the rest of the living world. For only when we can hear the languages of other beings will we be capable of understanding the generosity of the earth, and learn to give our own gifts in return.”
Finding the Mother Tree: Discovering the Wisdom of the Forest
Suzanne Simard
Simard writes — in inspiring, illuminating, and accessible ways — how trees, living side by side for hundreds of years, have evolved, how they perceive one another, learn and adapt their behaviors, recognize neighbors, and remember the past; how they have agency about the future; elicit warnings and mount defenses, compete and cooperate with one another with sophistication, characteristics ascribed to human intelligence, traits that are the essence of civil societies--and at the center of it all, the Mother Trees: the mysterious, powerful forces that connect and sustain the others that surround them.
I turn to this book each month around the full moon.
The Thirteen Original Clan Mothers
by Jamie Sams
“Jamie Sams, a member of the Wolf Clan Teaching Lodge, brings us a powerful new method for honoring and incorporating native feminine wisdom into our daily lives. Combining a rich oral tradition—passed on to her by two Kiowa Grandmothers, Cisi Laughing Crow and Berta Broken Bow—with the personal healing and guidance she has experienced through her female Elders, Sams created The 13 Original Clan Mothers. Each of the Clan Mothers reflects a particular teaching, relates to a cycle of the moon, and possesses special totems, talents, and gifts that can help each of us cultivate our own personal gifts and talents.”
This is a textbook for doulas, midwives, etc. so it’s difficult to find in any Michigan libraries. It’s the only title I’ve found on the topic.
When Survivors Give Birth
by Penny Simkin
“When Survivors Give Birth is written for a mixed audience of maternity care professionals and para-professionals, mental health therapists and counselors, and women survivors and their families. The authors expertly and compassionately address the unusual and distressing challenges that arise for abuse survivors during the childbirth experience.”
There was a riff between Will Smith and Janet Hubert, the original Vivian Banks in The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, and this books explains why and more of Hubert’s struggle in Hollywood.
Perfection is Not a Sitcom Mom
by Janet Hubert
“From the hardscrabble streets of Chicago's south side to the famed Juilliard school to the bright lights of Broadway, I thought I had seen it all. There were crack dealers, understudies who'd put needles in your dance shoes, and backstage cat fights with some of the theatre's most brilliant divas. But through it all I not only survived, I thrived. Then came the chance to become a sitcom mom on what would become one of the most successful TV sitcoms of the 90s, THE FRESH PRINCE OF BEL AIR. Sounds like the perfect script for the perfect Hollywood ending, right? Well not exactly.”
My mind is being blown and I’ve only just started this book.
When God Was a Woman
by Merlin Stone
“In the beginning, God was a woman...
How did the shift from matriarchy to patriarchy come about? In fascinating detail, Merlin Stone tells us the story of the Goddess who reigned supreme in the Near and Middle East. Under her reign, societal roles differed markedly from those in patriarchal Judeo-Christian cultures: women bought and sold property, traded in the marketplace, and inherited title and land from their mothers. Documenting the wholesale rewriting of myth and religious dogmas, Merlin Stone describes an ancient conspiracy in which the Goddess was reimagined as a wanton, depraved figure, a characterization confirmed and perpetuated by one of modern culture's best-known legends ― that of the fall of Adam and Eve. Insightful and thought-provoking, this is essential reading for anyone interested in the origin of current gender roles and in rediscovering women's power.”
There are recipes, generational wisdom, and gentle advice sprinkled in. A book worth purchasing to always return to in motherhood.
The First Forty Days: The Art of Nourishing the New Mother
by Heng Ou
“The first 40 days after the birth of a child offer an essential and fleeting period of rest and recovery for the new mother. Based on author Heng Ou’s own postpartum experience with zuo yuezi, a set period of “confinement,” in which a woman remains at home focusing on healing and bonding with her baby, The First Forty Days revives the lost art of caring for the mother after birth.”
Another go-to for a new mother’s bookshelf. Read this in my final hours before labor so I may be biased but I doubt it. Erica Chidi also founded Loom, educational content about our sexual & reproductive well-being. Hallelujah.
Nurture: A Modern Guide to Pregnancy, Birth, Early Motherhood and Trusting Yourself and Your Body
by Erica Chidi
A comprehensive and judgement-free pregnancy companion: Nurture is the only all-in-one pregnancy and birthing book for modern mothers-to-be and their partners who want a more integrative approach. Author Erica Chidi Cohen has assisted countless births and helped hundreds of families ease into their new roles through her work as a doula. Nurture covers everything from the beginning months of pregnancy to the baby's first weeks.
Novels (Fiction)
Nightbitch: A Novel
by Rachel Yoder
A friend & I are reading this together this month. Grab a book, grab a friend!
“An ambitious mother puts her art career on hold to stay at home with her newborn son, but the experience does not match her imagination. Two years later, she steps into the bathroom for a break from her toddler's demands, only to discover a dense patch of hair on the back of her neck. In the mirror, her canines suddenly look sharper than she remembers. Her husband, who travels for work five days a week, casually dismisses her fears from faraway hotel rooms….An outrageously original novel of ideas about art, power, and womanhood wrapped in a satirical fairy tale, Nightbitch will make you want to howl in laughter and recognition. And you should. You should howl as much as you want.”
Started reading this week. It is hard to read for how true it is and it is so beautifully written.
Shallow Waters
by Anita Kopacz
“Shallow Waters imagines Yemaya, an Orïsha—a deity in the religion of Africa’s Yoruba people—cast into mid-1800s America. We meet Yemaya as a young woman, still in the care of her mother and not yet fully aware of the spectacular power she possesses to protect herself and those she holds dear. The journey laid out in Shallow Waters sees Yemaya confront the greatest evils of this era; transcend time and place in search of Obatala, a man who sacrifices his own freedom for the chance at hers; and grow into the powerful woman she was destined to become. We travel alongside Yemaya from her native Africa and on to the “New World,” with vivid pictures of life for those left on the outskirts of power in the nascent Americas.”
My god do I love this book. I will read this again and again.
Circe
by Madeline Miller
“In the house of Helios, god of the sun and mightiest of the Titans, a daughter is born. But Circe is a strange child - not powerful, like her father, nor viciously alluring like her mother. Turning to the world of mortals for companionship, she discovers that she does possess power - the power of witchcraft, which can transform rivals into monsters and menace the gods themselves.
Threatened, Zeus banishes her to a deserted island, where she hones her occult craft, tames wild beasts and crosses paths with many of the most famous figures in all of mythology, including the Minotaur, Daedalus and his doomed son Icarus, the murderous Medea, and, of course, wily Odysseus.”
I’m a spiritual, not religious, person and still find this story so valuable.
The Red Tent
by Anita Diamant
“In the Bible, Dinah's life is only hinted at in a brief and violent detour within the more familiar chapters of the Book of Genesis that tell of her father, Jacob, and his twelve sons.
The Red Tent begins with the story of the mothers—Leah, Rachel, Zilpah, and Bilhah—the four wives of Jacob. They love Dinah and give her gifts that sustain her through childhood, a calling to midwifery, and a new home in a foreign land. Dinah's story reaches out from a remarkable period of early history and creates an intimate connection with the past.”
It wasn’t explained to me how this was anything to do with Motherhood when I first read it, and it made it all the better so I’m not disclosing either. Moyes is a fantastic storyteller.
The Giver of Stars
by Jojo Moyes
“Based on a true story rooted in America’s past, The Giver of Stars is unparalleled in its scope and epic in its storytelling. Funny, heartbreaking, enthralling, it is destined to become a modern classic–a richly rewarding novel of women’s friendship, of true love, and of what happens when we reach beyond our grasp for the great beyond.”
The amount of people who have recommended this book! I’m not interested in it just by reading the description but I will trust the recommendations!
The Four Winds — reader recommended
by Kristin Hannah
“My land tells its story if you listen. The story of our family.”
From the number-one bestselling author of The Nightingale and The Great Alone comes a powerful American epic about love and heroism and hope, set during the Great Depression, a time when the country was in crisis and at war with itself, when millions were out of work and even the land seemed to have turned against them.
Even more rare to find a mother-daughter combination writing about each’s experience, excited to read!
Traveling with Pomegranates: A Mother-Daughter Story — reader recommended
by Sue Monk Kidd & Ann Kidd Taylor
A wise and involving book about feminine thresholds, spiritual growth, and renewal, Traveling with Pomegranates is both a revealing self-portrait by a beloved author and her daughter, a writer in the making, and a momentous story that will resonate with women everywhere.
Short Prose
Mother Tongue is a biannual print magazine that interrogates (and celebrates) modern motherhood through diverse and inclusive stories about art, sex, pop culture, politics, food and a few things in between.
It’s not about kids or how to parent them: it’s about the nuanced lives we are living—as mothers, and much more.”
Issue 1 is already sold out but their Instagram is a close second until Issue 2 hits stands.
The Fisherwoman's Daughter, 1988 Essay
by Ursula K. LeGuin
I struggle to define briefly the pull I felt the day I discovered LeGuin’s essay, The Fisherwoman’s Daughter, in the coffee shop.
I found this free version of the essay after stumbling into this article, also feeling seen by this author and her synopsis of the essay.
Since this was recommended I’ve seen Smith’s other books, Keep Moving and Goldenrod at every store, I swear.
Good Bones — reader recommended
by Maggie Smith
“A book of poetry. Poems written out of the experience of motherhood, inspired by the poet watching her own children trying to read the world like a book they've just opened, knowing nothing of the characters or plot.”
This will probably be a growing list as I discover more titles.
The Human Experience
We walked the trail tonight, catching up after a long day of daycare drop-off, working at home, tedious errands after coffee; idiosyncrasies of new parenthood amidst a global pandemic. The pandemic lingers for new parents with infants and toddlers, the unvaccinated.
The trail provides a salve to anxieties, fear, and lethargy. Let's blame the pandemic and all that has come out of the woodwork, indeed. As a new mother, I have an inkling this is simply the beginning. Regulating all my worries and concerns in hopes my daughter will always be safe. In hopes she lives beyond my time here on Earth.
The sun drops between the rustling of almost turned maples, oaks, and walnut trees, pure gold. I let the internal chatter of all that is not subside for now. It is our greatest secret here, a large peninsula tucked between the lakes. Autumn sunsets when all the tourists disperse.
Those beyond these freshwater seas are always surprised by their expanse upon visiting. They imagine man-made ponds in their grandparents' backyard, a natural spring-fed pool on the outskirts of land flattened by agriculture.
No, not these Great Lakes — Huron, Ontario, Michigan, Erie, and Lady Superior. Over 6,000 ships have met their ill-fated journey when the thirty-foot waves blow through. When the winds force snow and ice from the Northeast, most notably in November. These lakes are a sacred graveyard to thousands of captains, sailors, and voyageurs.
As I walk near their shores, witnessing a sunset that passerby will never know exists — my treasure for staying — it is more beautiful because I know the power of this water at its horizon. Is it more sacred due to the knowledge that the lake will conjure up anger as fall transitions to winter? She is threatening, and she is soft. Both emotions and more subtleties held in her blue hues. The natural neons of sunset tell me so.
We are walking our daughter. She is one year old and needs our hands to guide her; Mama on the left, Daddy on the right, fallen leaves below tracing every step closer to independence. I relish being needed by her. This time of dependency is fleeting. The next step, of course, is that she walks without the steady guidance of our arms. A transition similar to the one Lake Michigan is about to put all of us through. You can prepare to the best of your ability for the storm, but it will still do a number on you. I hold her chunky fingers tightly as if my squeeze could stop time.
Up ahead, there is an older woman with a walker. It holds her up like we hold up our daughter, her human walkers. A physical message; my squeeze does not have the power to halt the clocks as much as I try.
There is not much time to linger as her little legs power ahead in pure joy. She hasn't grasped the concept that she will faceplant into all the crunchy leaves and concrete without our hands to guide her. I continue, but I keep looking back at the older woman as we pass by, unable to shake the message that how we begin, we end. Cyclical.
The old oak sleeps and awakes come Spring.
As the woman's bent legs shuffle, supported by her steel walker, I long for someone to hold her hand instead. Heartbeats holding heartbeats. Someone who loved her or loved by her in a distant time. Like we held our young child's hands in support nearby. Reciprocity.
The core of human sadness is our disregard for honoring our Elders. We are too distracted or impatient to hear their wisdom, heed warnings from their mistakes, or listen to the rhythm of human patterns. It has slipped our conscious that we will soon be the Elder if we're lucky. Won't it be beneficial to know what is on the trail up ahead? To have a starting point to work from, whether we use it to repeat their patterns, banish them, or expand upon them. To make it better for the next tree buds preparing for their grand entrance.
I hope someone I love will walk me down the trail when I can no longer hold myself up. When I am old and gray and hopefully in the Crone season of my life.
As we putter along, they will listen to me babble, keeping my story alive. I am passing it on for safekeeping, for it to be retold. Maybe it will be my daughter. A Mother now in her journey. In the middle, where life teems with so much fullness, she'll hardly notice our secret sunset as she supports me.
I will look up the trail in time to see a little Maiden-in-the-making toddling along, held by the strength, safety, and support of her parents. Her face is bright with exuberance at her new tricks. She squeals with glee.
My neck will bend to see my old feet shuffle, happy with the full circle of human experience. The lake winds will blow as they always do. The maple leaves will rustle, a lullaby to the tune of a golden sunset. I hear them crunch beneath my soles and hers as the little one walks by.
Summer book list 2021
“Keep going, keep going, keep going.”
James Patterson gave this response to Lauren Graham’s question “How do you do it"?” at a casting dinner. She was referencing his accolades as an author & relays the interaction in her book, Talking As Fast As I Can.
My head is in the weeds. The minutiae of motherhood. In my defense, I wasn’t seeking motherhood in the middle of a global pandemic but it’s what I was given so in the weeds I’ve been as a result.
I prefer Austin Kleon’s take — I’m dormant. Waiting for the next cycle of bloom. Waiting is not my specialty. It requires faith. People craving control aren’t comfortable trusting what they can’t see, or what they don’t know, because it requires the exact opposite of what they do to feel safe. Anyways, this waiting for what I don’t even know what I’m waiting for has paused my writing until I know more. This is a mind game, of course, but I’m working through it; a summer sabbatical full of beach mornings, The Real Housewives franchise, & midnight panic attacks every so often.
This pause, however, has been wonderful for reading books. A social media hiatus freed up pockets of time formerly invested in aimless scrolling. Time scrolling was replaced with turning tangible pages of beach reads, historical fiction, local history, & that damn self-help category that keeps finding its way to my shelves. My summer book list, in chronological order kind of:
Summer Book List
The Genius of Birds – Jennifer Ackerman (part of WMEAC Book Club)
The Paris Library – Janet Skeslien Charles
Gift From the Sea – Anne Morrow Lindburgh (on repeat each summer)
The Stepford Wives – Ira Levin (part of Marcie Davis Walkers Black-Eyed Bible Study)
Women of the Grand: Their Legacy – Wallace K. Ewing
Summer on the Bluffs – Sunny Hostin
For the Love – Jen Hatmaker (gifted)
The Summer Wives – Beatriz Williams
The Montessori Toddler – Simone Davies
Workparent – Daisy Dowling
Cribsheet – Emily Oster
Talking As Fast As I Can – Lauren Graham
Mama + Mini Book list (12-15mths infant)
River enjoys racing to the end of a book to make the noise of slamming it shut, lest you think we have a 1-year old scholar. But honestly, why do we put these weird pressures on infants? To calm any unnecessary comparisons, please note this book list is compiled of titles me & family members have picked out for her:
Where the Buffaloes Begin (free from daycare) – Olaf Baker
We Are Water Protectors – Carole Lindstrom
Into the Forest (gifted), board book – Laura Baker
Besos for Baby: A Little Book of Kisses, board book – Jen Arena
World of Eric Carle, My First Library: 12 board books set (gifted) – Eric Carle
For My Mother
I’ve taken to reading leisurely by tree light as my family sleeps.
A line I will read one day amidst a pile of frustrating work I don’t want to be doing that just might change the trajectory of my choices.
But tonight, it simply is what I’m doing.
I start here. And then I click link after guided link because clicking on Austin Kleon’s writing rarely leads me astray. Suddenly, I find myself here, & then here. Ope, now I’m over here.
A pattern I’ve found in three dedications now — all completely unrelated topics —
For my mother.
It seems there are many authors who probably aren’t calling their mother as much as they think about calling her yet she is the thread throughout their life anyway.
The foundation I lay for my daughter now might make it into a dedication one day. It won’t even be my name but the rather generic, uncapitalized, word that defines millions of women. But it doesn’t really matter to me what the word is, just that my daughter says it, & the meaning it carries for her.
This is the true work.
Not to be in a dedication one day, oh no. Those are expectations I will not put upon her.
But on the days when I’m receiving pressure from external forces — day job, in-laws expectations, montessori — may I recall that rarely are dedications made to any of those things.
For my mother: the result of a presence not your burden to make others understand. Because they may never. But she will always.