Emily Bode 10/14/21 Emily Bode 10/14/21

The Human Experience

We walked the trail tonight, catching up after a long day of daycare drop-off, working at home, tedious errands after coffee; idiosyncrasies of new parenthood amidst a global pandemic. The pandemic lingers for new parents with infants and toddlers, the unvaccinated.

The trail provides a salve to anxieties, fear, and lethargy. Let's blame the pandemic and all that has come out of the woodwork, indeed. As a new mother, I have an inkling this is simply the beginning. Regulating all my worries and concerns in hopes my daughter will always be safe. In hopes she lives beyond my time here on Earth.

The sun drops between the rustling of almost turned maples, oaks, and walnut trees, pure gold. I let the internal chatter of all that is not subside for now. It is our greatest secret here, a large peninsula tucked between the lakes. Autumn sunsets when all the tourists disperse.

Those beyond these freshwater seas are always surprised by their expanse upon visiting. They imagine man-made ponds in their grandparents' backyard, a natural spring-fed pool on the outskirts of land flattened by agriculture.

No, not these Great Lakes — Huron, Ontario, Michigan, Erie, and Lady Superior. Over 6,000 ships have met their ill-fated journey when the thirty-foot waves blow through. When the winds force snow and ice from the Northeast, most notably in November. These lakes are a sacred graveyard to thousands of captains, sailors, and voyageurs.

As I walk near their shores, witnessing a sunset that passerby will never know exists — my treasure for staying — it is more beautiful because I know the power of this water at its horizon. Is it more sacred due to the knowledge that the lake will conjure up anger as fall transitions to winter? She is threatening, and she is soft. Both emotions and more subtleties held in her blue hues. The natural neons of sunset tell me so.

We are walking our daughter. She is one year old and needs our hands to guide her; Mama on the left, Daddy on the right, fallen leaves below tracing every step closer to independence. I relish being needed by her. This time of dependency is fleeting. The next step, of course, is that she walks without the steady guidance of our arms. A transition similar to the one Lake Michigan is about to put all of us through. You can prepare to the best of your ability for the storm, but it will still do a number on you. I hold her chunky fingers tightly as if my squeeze could stop time.

Up ahead, there is an older woman with a walker. It holds her up like we hold up our daughter, her human walkers. A physical message; my squeeze does not have the power to halt the clocks as much as I try.

There is not much time to linger as her little legs power ahead in pure joy. She hasn't grasped the concept that she will faceplant into all the crunchy leaves and concrete without our hands to guide her. I continue, but I keep looking back at the older woman as we pass by, unable to shake the message that how we begin, we end. Cyclical.

The old oak sleeps and awakes come Spring.

As the woman's bent legs shuffle, supported by her steel walker, I long for someone to hold her hand instead. Heartbeats holding heartbeats. Someone who loved her or loved by her in a distant time. Like we held our young child's hands in support nearby. Reciprocity.

The core of human sadness is our disregard for honoring our Elders. We are too distracted or impatient to hear their wisdom, heed warnings from their mistakes, or listen to the rhythm of human patterns. It has slipped our conscious that we will soon be the Elder if we're lucky. Won't it be beneficial to know what is on the trail up ahead? To have a starting point to work from, whether we use it to repeat their patterns, banish them, or expand upon them. To make it better for the next tree buds preparing for their grand entrance.

I hope someone I love will walk me down the trail when I can no longer hold myself up. When I am old and gray and hopefully in the Crone season of my life.

As we putter along, they will listen to me babble, keeping my story alive. I am passing it on for safekeeping, for it to be retold. Maybe it will be my daughter. A Mother now in her journey. In the middle, where life teems with so much fullness, she'll hardly notice our secret sunset as she supports me.

I will look up the trail in time to see a little Maiden-in-the-making toddling along, held by the strength, safety, and support of her parents. Her face is bright with exuberance at her new tricks. She squeals with glee.

My neck will bend to see my old feet shuffle, happy with the full circle of human experience. The lake winds will blow as they always do. The maple leaves will rustle, a lullaby to the tune of a golden sunset. I hear them crunch beneath my soles and hers as the little one walks by.

Emily Bode 9/28/20 Emily Bode 9/28/20

Enjoymint

“Enjoy it before it’s gone.”

It was a sign at the ice cream shop on our way to the beach. The last weekend before closing up shop for the season. It meant enjoy our product before our resources are tapped out for a while.

Or…a reminder to enjoy this moment in my family’s early season. there are days where I don’t. Enjoy it, that is. I feel shameful; how do you have a dream come true & then be “meh” about it?

because it’s hard.
because you’re learning something new.
because you’re a kind of tired you never knew before.

We had the ice cream even though it was easier to stay home in a pool of pity. Took it to the lake. Watched the waves calm her, calm us. The last of the season’s resources for a while.

Knowing it could all go away, we must enjoy it. All of it. And take care of one another.

Emily Bode 9/15/20 Emily Bode 9/15/20

Sandy toes

May I always live in a home where there are sandy toes. Because that will mean I’ll be in a home near the water near the beach by some trail to catch a sunset.

Joel looks at houses the way I check out books from the library — hopeful each one has the potential for dreams to be realized. He sends listings to me throughout the day. Slips in a comment about a feature he knows I’ll love in between flipping Sunday eggs & diaper changes. I am half-listening while he is full dreaming. The season we’re in, I suppose.

But just like this little lodge by the lake, the one I skipped over at first drive by, I will know when my sandy toes step over the threshold.

Until then, these sandy toes like the way they feel when they touch the hardwood, the jute rug, on the way to the shower before bedtime on the first of the Autumn days.

Emily Bode 4/5/20 Emily Bode 4/5/20

Sunday Linen 02: Rebuilding

Yesterday was going to be your baby shower, little one. A celebration of you beneath the April Pink Moon, the only shade of pink you need if you ask me. It couldn’t happen as planned but your Dad & I dressed up for you anyway.

We took you to the water where, a few years ago, we promised one another our hearts in front of those closest to us (you’ll meet them all soon). Our hearts fell when we saw the land was razed, unrecognizable as the place we once stood. Holding hands, facing the world together.

They were rebuilding the dune to save it from caving in. This will be good for the dune in the long run but we caught it in the in-between moment where you can’t tell if you’re witnessing destruction or rebirth.

Your parents are rebuilding too, little one. Reinforcing the foundation so you have solid ground to stand on when you get here. We don’t know what we’re doing really. We look around & the changes are overwhelming. It’s not how we remembered it to be.

But we held you, in our Sunday best, making promises by the water like the ones that started this family those few Harvest Moons ago.

Holding hands, facing the world together.

Emily Bode 8/17/18 Emily Bode 8/17/18

Urban to Rural: Back to the Moon Lodge

After talking to a few people this week about what I've been up to lately, I realize I never mentioned we've moved back to our cottage near the lake! It's been a whirlwind of a summer. When I talk to different clients and blogger friends, most are like, "Oh! You're not in town anymore?" Nope, we moved back to our house, lovingly called the Moon Lodge.

Why we moved back to the lake

We kept finding ourselves in the city escaping to a body of water. We grabbed dinner and drinks at Rose's on Reeds Lake a lot last summer. We laughed about moving to the city just to do what we did back home; spend time together by the lake.

During more stressful times at work and with my sick cat, Belle, I would drive out of town to an old farmhouse and dream about starting a family, having chickens and bees, and sitting on the front porch with Joel listening to the cicadas sing in the open space. I found myself escaping the city more than staying in it.

From Joel's rational and pragmatic perspective, it was a financial loss to have an expensive place in the city we were never at. He was right. Don't get me wrong, we had an amazing time in the city. We were more accessible to meet up with friends after work. It was easier to be part of a community of blogger ladies and attend events with them. I'm so happy to have met women in similar walks of life with blogging and owning a business. The city led me to my tribe and allowed me to be present for friendships to grow that I can't always do when I'm at the lake.

Joel and I had a fun city routine and Tiger got a lot of walks to Wilcox Park. We don't regret our year in the city AT ALL but ultimately, the beach was calling...and we had to go.

When we decided to make the change

Quite simply, we love the lake life, in all her seasons. There were so many times last year we craved the water. We went on a vacation to Florida a few months before our lease on the apartment was up. We needed to make a decision if we'd stay or go.

Traveling brought us clarity and a fresh perspective at a time we needed to figure out our next move. We didn't put pressure on ourselves to have an answer by the end of the trip but talked about the topic a lot. It was ironic that our vacation was in Ft. Myers Beach. We were surrounded by water again.

We stayed in a one-room cabin on the bay, waking up to dolphins and the marina out our window each morning. Each night we'd watch the sunset over the bay after biking to the beaches. Our answer kept showing itself every time we did something.

By the time we landed in Michigan in time for New Year's Eve, we agreed the lake was where both of our hearts really were.

What we gained from our year in the city

It would be have been easier, and definitely cheaper, to ignore the idea of moving to the city. There were many logistics to consider and financial preparation to make it possible. However, it was good timing for Joel and me in our new marriage with our steady careers. It also worked for my brother and his friend who rented our house for the year. We would have always wondered "what if?" if we didn't just go for it.

We learned a lot about each other through it all. Joel needs at least 30 minutes of uninterrupted time to wind down after work. I need uninterrupted Netflix and wine when I shut down work for the day. Some things challenged us immensely, like finances, schedules, and my aversion to committing to ANYTHING. It required we become better communicators with each other and helped us to empathize with one another on how we view money and what motivates us.

What's next...

So what's next? Well, we both agree we want to own a boat soon! There's a lot of things to fix, organize, and update now that we've moved back. We've been reminded of the woes and wonders of homeownership and we're trying to respond accordingly with as little blaming each other as possible. It's tempting on days when the kitchen sink keeps leaking and the front yard keeps sprouting weeds and the lawnmowers broke...again...to say we made a mistake moving to the city. To think we should have stayed home, ignoring the call for an adventure.

But then we take to the tree-lined trail with a happy Tiger. We turn the corner and see the lake, smell the fresh air. The gratitude we feel and the new perspective we have of an old familiar place.

Home.

It was all worth it.

Emily Bode 5/31/18 Emily Bode 5/31/18

Urban to Rural: The Things We Keep

I almost put on our wedding invitations – No plastic, please.

If you were to visit our home you wouldn't find Tupperware in the cupboards. Unless Joel snuck it in. Or it held a treat from a gracious friend and will be returned to them soon. Most didn't end up getting us plastic items after all. They know me well, for that I'm grateful. Plastic is inevitable but I do what I can. During our continued Spring cleaning Joel has said this on repeat: Don't throw this out, I'm still using it. On a scale of 1 to Irrational, I'm an impatient 9 when it comes to organizing the Moon Lodge.

Through all the box-digging I've wondered, Why do we keep the things we keep?

I'm just shuffling things from one room to the next in hopes the piles will become smaller and smaller – making space. It's tempting to box it all up & donate. Out of sight, out of mind. Then I find a box I forgot about. It's holding an old WNBA Shock jersey, CDs from my 90's childhood, a vintage butterfly box, an olive green fork, boat tickets to Beaver Island.

Why do we keep the things we keep?

In all the minimalism are memories being forgotten? Might there be a space where both can be kept? Yes, & it looks like my Grandma's cabin blanket at the end of our bed. A walking stick from a trip to Lake Superior with my Dad next to a dish holding my sage from Kate on the credenza we built last May. A mermaid, like my Mother's, nearby.

There are piles and they're getting to me (my drive for clarity is a curse). But they are piles that surround me with memories & moments from the ones I love & who love me back. That will always be worth keeping. Off to put a fresh coat of paint on the studio/guest room before my parents arrive for a weekend visit. May we take care of our people like we take care of our piles, friends.

Follow me on Instagram to see what else I've been up to lately! xo, Em

Emily Bode 4/2/18 Emily Bode 4/2/18

Urban to Rural: Spring Cleaning

"Spring cleaning is not a metaphor, my dear."

I woke up to this text from my mom this morning. As I sit here drinking my first cup in our old house that is again, our new house, it's the message I needed to hear. Joel and I moved BACK to our little Moon Lodge by the lake last weekend. A back story: last Spring we moved to a one-bedroom apartment in Grand Rapids for one year simply because we wanted to try it. After college, each of us considered moving to a larger city like Chicago or Grand Rapids. Soon after we got married something inside us felt the need to try it out. We just couldn't stop wondering where that path might take us so we headed East for a year.

That path brought us right back to our two-bedroom cottage on the lakeshore one year later. Neither of us regrets our time in the city. It brought so much growth to each of us. And definitely in our Marriage the way we treat each other in moments of transition or change.

So here I am in the now clean kitchen after organizing a dozen of boxes and bags getting ready for a new day in an old place that feels like a new place. I can't quite describe how odd the feeling is but I think my mom's text about spring cleaning says it perfectly. What is so hard and so beautiful about the Spring is it's a season of buds growing and waking up from the dark, cold Winter. I'm cleaning out these little crevices in our cupboards as if our year in the city almost didn't happen. Even though these cupboards and these rooms are the same, I can feel inside that I am not, and it's so reenergizing.

It's a fresh start.

We have a lot of plans for this little cottage of ours now. How we want to update it and have it better reflect who we are and the lake life we love. I rarely talk interiors here and I'm not sure if I will. But between our move and a large project I'm working on maybe, I'll share more on that topic.

Now I'm off to work on that large project I mentioned for the day and to organize and clean the living room tonight. Sometimes the only constant is change, my friends. May we soak it up as gracefully as we can.

Follow me on Instagram to see what else I've been up to lately! xo, Em

Emily Bode 10/21/17 Emily Bode 10/21/17

Rural to Urban: What we like and what we don't

It's been six months since moving from a small lake town to a more urban area in an apartment in Grand Rapids. We're about halfway through our year-long visit and we've been learning a lot about ourselves, each other, and what we like and don't like about living in the city.

Urban life: Likes

1 | Convenience

Everything I need is within walking distance. Whether it's groceries, going to the farmer's market, walking Tiger in the park, the coffee shop to plug in and work, our favorite brewery, or getting my yoga in – it's all right here and opens during realistic hours (vs. everything closing at 7pm on the lakeshore or closed for the winter). It's a homebody's haven because you don't really have to go anywhere.

2 | Connection

Meeting up with friends more often has been easier because it doesn't take planning a week ahead and the long commute to make it happen. I feel way more connected and like I've found my tribe of freelancers and creatives to hang out with. It's energizing and uplifting, to say the least!

3 | Kitchen

I like knowing I only have 3 bowls to store leftovers – small, medium, large. We've removed or replaced a lot of plastic items and because we have fewer items there isn't a bunch of mismatched tops to bowls taking up space (a big pet peeve of mine). I like the "one of everything" rule that the size of our apartment keeps us to.

Urban life: Dislikes

1 | Small space

I thought I could do it, you guys. I thought I could live a minimal lifestyle with a small footprint. While I like being intentional by room, like the kitchen, I'm not enjoying it from a home standpoint. My studio has gone from a spare bedroom to the leftover cabinet in the kitchen. I also like decorating seasonally and it's limiting to do in a space where I fear putting a nail in the wall. I prefer OPEN SPACE, and so do Joel and Tiger.

2 | No house projects

It's been good for my design business that I dedicate more time to work but it's limiting Joel and me with house projects we like to do. We enjoy dreaming about the next project to build, make, and fix. I grew up in old houses with little quirks and personalities and Joel comes from a long lineage of builders. It's in our blood to create resourcefully but this place is already done (not that we don't think it's beautiful, because it is). I don't know how many times we've looked at each other on a weekend, sitting on the couch, and asked, "now what?"

3 | Noise

The noise outside makes it so that the windows are closed. And the windows being closed creates stagnant air. I hear sirens multiple times a day and every time I say a prayer for the people they're rushing to. I'm praying a lot. And I don't think the tenants above us are aware we can hear their every move. Especially at midnight. While I'm happy they lead a healthy sex life, I'm not happy for me who is trying to fall asleep.

What's next for us?

We're still not sure. We've reflected on a few options but are really just doing our best to keep the faith that "what's next" will present itself when the time is right (and praying time will be right before our lease is up). Otherwise, we may be forced into a different direction. Equally encouraging, I suppose. Until then, we're hopping around to our favorite breweries like Harmony Brewing and Brewery Vivant, discovering hiking trails north of town, and balancing this season of work with things like yoga, disc golfing, and walking Tiger so he doesn't give us a 'tude.

Now I want to hear about you...what do you like and dislike about the place you live?

Emily Bode 10/18/17 Emily Bode 10/18/17

Ordinary Dreams

"You guys, doesn't that look like Terrance's mom?!" he asked mid-catch.

"Hey guys, doesn't that look like our teacher?!" he repeated.

It took me a moment to realize one of the boys playing football across the street was talking about me. School-aged kids with their outdoor voices after being inside all day, unaware their subject is within earshot.

I was on a walk with Tiger enjoying an afternoon of crisp air, sunshine, and fall colors. I acted as if I couldn't hear them but as I walked the next block ahead it hit me; I'm the age of those boys' mothers and teachers.

Once I got over my surprise at that reality (didn't I just leave home for college?), I liked his vision. A student of mine recognizing me walking my dog in the neighborhood after school. A young child seeing his friend's mother in me.

A reminder that ordinary days to one are dreams to another.

Emily Bode 9/16/17 Emily Bode 9/16/17

A Letter to My Husband on Our First Anniversary

The origin of our first dance.

It was Spring Break a few months after we met. You convinced me I must go with you despite my excuses that I couldn't (money, study, homebody). You even drew a little picture of us to really bring your point home – stick figures in front of a sunset. I was the one with the long hair.

People said this trip could break us. They said we knew too little about one another. A week is too long so early on, they warned. Are you sure you should really be going with him?

I went.

We laughed. We fought. We had 10 too many drinks. We survived.

On the way home I rested my head on your lap. Listened to What You Thought You Need as the everglades blurred outside the window. You had your hand on my arm. It took me a moment to realize you were sending a message – tracing letters on my skin, just for me.

Well, I can't give you everything you want. But I can give you what you thought you need.

LOVE.

A map to keep beneath your seat you'll read to me in time I'll get you there.

But fold it up so we don't find our way back soon Nobody knows we're here.

My skin told on me. Goosebumps. You didn't think I knew the message you traced on me that day. Thought I was too wrapped up in my headphones to feel your letters. And I didn't tell you that I read each one in anticipation they would line up with the three words I had saved inside of me, for you.

Our first dance.

7 years later and we're near water again. We're listening to What You Thought You Need as the northern pines blur outside the window. Your hands are around my waist. You're looking at me with the promise of those three letters from long ago – the ones you've saved, just for me.

Can't take back things already gone but I could give you promises for keeps.

LOVE.

And I would only take them back if they become your own and you give them to me.

We could make this into anything, we could make this into more than words can speak.

You spin me around and I trust you'll hold me in this space as you do. The space I've saved, just for you. The unspoken words speaking volumes. Two souls finding each other on the open road without care to get to the destination.

And it's all for the sake of arriving with you.

Photos by Leigh Ann Cobb Photography, Music by Jack Johnson

Emily Bode 7/5/17 Emily Bode 7/5/17

Rural to Urban: A moving update & where we are

An update on moving from rural to urban life and how we're transitioning in Grand Rapids, Michigan. #becomingthebodes

It's been 3 months since moving from our first house in a rural lake neighborhood to a one-bedroom apartment in the city. Like most transitions, it's been messy, overwhelming, and not easy. Of course, we could've made it easier on ourselves. We didn't need to have the new Moon Lodge renters move in the same day we were moving out. Or schedule an afternoon flight to Texas for a week-long vacation the same day. Definitely didn't need to do ALL OF THAT at once, ha. But we did do it that way and survived with minor injury.

I want to share with you why we moved, how we prepared for it, and what's next for us.

Why did we move?

We moved from our cozy cottage to a bustling city to see if we could do it, quite simply. I considered moving to Chicago after college. Joel's often entertained the idea of city living. After we got married last fall, I thought it might mean we'd be settling into one kind of life and I didn't like the feeling we'd never try something we've always wanted to (why I attached that to marriage, I don't know. Always been a thing). Joel responded to my concern with a, "Let's do it" and so here we are in Grand Rapids.

Of course, it wasn't that simple. We prepared for a year to transition to this new lifestyle. Everything didn't go the way we thought it would. We learned a lot about faith, hope, and flexibility because of it though.

How did we prepare?

We started by listening to each other's differing concerns. We lived in a small lake town for 4 years before moving so there was a lot to dig through. I was most concerned with how our fur babies, Tiger and Belle, might handle the transition with a smaller place and no yard. Joel was concerned with the long-term financial aspect of moving to an expensive city and the challenges that might bring.

Our concerns led us to solutions; We'll walk Tiger each morning and night and stop by during lunch. We'll be able to keep a closer eye on Belle with her age-related health issues. I set up our budget with the Everydollar app so we can track our expenses and "move" our money into new pockets easily. We knew the gas & oil budget would decrease and the restaurants & entertainment budget would increase in the city. I honestly enjoy this kind of organization, haha, and it allowed us to see this just might work. Asking ourselves these kinds of questions let us see this move could be a reality.

From there, we started looking for a place to live. We found a brand new, 700 sq. ft., one-bedroom apartment in the city and chose our move-in date (this is where faith and gratitude came in!). We set it for a couple of months later and got to work finding renters. Renters we trusted were found soon after (more faith and gratitude!) and we became landlords as well as renters in the city within the same month. I thought renting out the Moon Lodge would make it so we had one less thing to worry about. I quickly discovered it's another responsibility altogether. However, we're good with it. It's allowing the lodge to be a new experience for our renters as we have a new experience with apartment living. Win-win.

I had to become unattached to material things in order to go from a 1,000 sq. ft. cottage with a basement and yard to a 700 sq. ft. apartment with 2 closets and a balcony. We donated most unused items to Goodwill, gave some away to family and friends, and sold valuable items we couldn't take with us. There was clarity and freedom to all the purging and one of my favorite results from the move.

We have 8 drinking glasses, 6 coffee mugs, and 4 bowls now. Joel has 112 clothing items and I have 120, including bags, shoes, and accessories. I haven't felt the need for more since we've been here.

What's next for us?

It's difficult to say. Both of us have never felt more uncertain in our lives and I think that's the hardest part. Not that the move prompted all this uncertainty. We were uncertain already. Moving to the city is a way we're trying to find the answer.

One of our favorite ways to discover things about ourselves and the world is traveling. I like to think of our new city life as a little pit stop on our travels. We essentially are in an Airbnb for one year, now what will we make of it?

So far, we've discovered new restaurants and cafes. This one and this one being our favorites. I've found a guacamole and margarita combo that alone could convince me to stay here longer. We've walked at least 100 times already to a beautiful park around the corner from us. Tiger's practically a celebrity there. Joel has a favorite running route around a nearby lake and brewery. He continues to discover new corners of this city for us to explore. We do this thing where we drink wine and watch Netflix almost every night as the sunsets. Not our lake routine, but a routine in togetherness I enjoy for the time being.

I've opened the digital doors to Brave Girl Designs, my shop with courage-based art prints for purchase. I would've never had the courage to sell prints had we not moved here. Being immersed in an inspiring creative community with kind people has made all the difference. There's an openness to collaborate instead of competing that's hard to find on the outskirts. I don't know if we'll be here forever, but we are here for now.

For that, I'm grateful. xx, EM

Answer one of these questions in the comments below:

Do you have any tips for living in the city with pets?
If you could move anywhere, where would it be?
What's your dream vacation?

Our couple photos courtesy of Sincerely Ashley

Emily Bode 3/25/17 Emily Bode 3/25/17

Moon Lodge Goodbyes, A Moving Announcement

It was a warm August night. I was coming from a meditation session at the little beach down the road from our place in the woods.

We pulled up to a quaint house in a quaint neighborhood. The kind of neighborhood where lazy lawnmowers run before the week begins. Where you can smell the fresh-cut grass as the sun sets and the fireflies light up — the epitome of a rural American summer.

Two bedrooms, one bath. Two blocks away from the beach, one block from the trail.

I stepped over the threshold of the front door and knew this was the place we were meant to live. Wood floors, kitchen nook, backyard with a bonfire pit.

Before we had degrees we sketched out our dream world. It involved a home with a heart in the gable and a lake behind us. We didn't think that sketch would come to life one year later but it did. In hindsight, of course, it did. We worked our asses off for it. We compromised a lot for it. And we fought like hell to be here. Homeowners.

We've lived in the Moon Lodge for about 3 years. It's brought us comfort, safety, and community. I haven't felt this way since my childhood. Joel & I created this together, our little cottage by the lake. Birthday parties, engagements, holidays. The Moon Lodge held us through these moments. Disagreements, doubts, and exhaustion. The Moon Lodge held us through these too. Maybe a little extra.

But then, we started to wriggle from her grasp.

The commute too long.
The winter too cold.
The home too...not us anymore.

We're leaving the Moon Lodge next month. On to a new adventure. The very things we fight for are the same things we grow away from. The time has come to grow. We're moving away from the place that held us through our first years. This next month I'll be full of nostalgia and reflection. It'll be hard to say goodbye to our neighbors, our friends, and the community we've been part of yet we're excited about this new adventure.

The Moon Lodge is not a physical place, it is within us. Housed in this life we've created together.

Shop our home as we downsize | Brave Girl blog

There's a lot we've collected along the way that we're ready to part with. For a local listing of what we're selling, head here and have a piece of the Moon Lodge as part of your home.

Photos by Leigh Ann Cobb Photography

Emily Bode 2/25/17 Emily Bode 2/25/17

Our Harvest Moon Wedding

No one is more surprised than me to see this picture of us with me as his bride, pure joy emanating from my face during our Harvest Moon wedding in September 2016. I couldn't contain my happiness during our wedding weekend and I can't contain it now.

Because I was never getting married!
And we all know what happens with our nevers.

Getting married was the first moment of my life I hadn't planned. Seriously.

Pathetic, yes. True? Very.

I never imagined the dress, the ring, or the flowers. I LOVE a wonderfully styled tablescape and obsessing over centerpieces, it just wasn't something I pinned, doodled, or dreamed of for myself. I loved my relationship with Joel and I didn't think we needed the foo-foo to feel it. This changed once we were engaged as I was very particular about details. More on that later.

So you can imagine my surprise when Joel got down on one knee after a run to the lake on an ordinary Sunday. I said "yes, yes, yes!" before he even asked me anything. It's crazy how life changes in a matter of seconds and I was stunned.

I never imagined myself as a bride.
But, we all know what happens with our nevers.

I may have never imagined a wedding but I've always known Joel and I will be together the rest of our days. It didn't mean I was fully ready before saying "I Do" though. Is anyone, really? Because I couldn't have been ready for the outpouring of love we received from our family and friends. I couldn't have been ready for how nervous I felt before the processional began. I couldn't have known I'd feel light-headed in love for my soon-to-be husband. How I was unable to take my eyes off of him. How handsome he was. All the planning in the world wouldn't have made me ready for the emotion that washed over me when I saw him across the dance floor and smiled.

I'm blessed to be with him for the rest of my life.

You can't be ready for the magic Life gives to you but you can follow it. It doesn't mean you'll know what the outcome will be or that you'll have all the steps figured out. You don't need to have it figured out to believe in Love. You must believe it will open itself up to you. Love might look different than you imagined but not knowing is the secret ingredient.

The best thing to do is take it all in and soak it all up because you deserve good love, baby. Don't let your nevers take you away from that.

I read a quote a few months into being newlyweds.

“The very definition of preparation is “becoming ready.” It is not “being ready,” or “getting ready,” or “the very act of readiness itself.” It is becoming ready: the slow growth, the missteps, the process, the transformation...”

— Erin Loechner of Design for Mankind

We are The Bode's. And we are Becoming.

There are so many more posts I'd like to write to share the details of our day because I never want to let go of the magic! Do you want to hear more? Anything specific you'd like to know more about?

All photos by Leigh Ann Cobb Photography

Emily Bode 11/7/16 Emily Bode 11/7/16

Soul

“We will leave for others what we should do with the soul.”

— 365 Tao, Daily Meditations, Deng Ming-Dao

My grandma shared the history of our Irish heritage as a wedding gift last winter. I never knew our ancestry until the newspaper articles and a note listing our lineage.

It traced back to our great-great-great-grandma in Ireland. She came to America during the potato famine and lived with family in Chicago until she met my great-great-great-grandpa, a farmer in Michigan. She raised children on the farm, had an extreme work ethic, was strong-willed, stubborn, and tender-hearted.

We will leave for others what we should do with the soul.

I wanted to know more. Her inner thoughts, maybe her fears or names of other people she shared the boat with to get here. Her time in Chicago? Maybe life on the farm?

My curiosity might have something to do with the 20-some journals I've filled so far. One of the desires to write for Brave Girl. When I pass, there will be more information than anyone cares to know on my inner thoughts, my fears, the names of the people who have made an impact on my life. A lot of it could get lost in time, space, damage. Some of it will stay, hopefully, the most important stuff.

Maybe I'll be a great-great-great-grandma someday and my surviving family will say, "She had an extreme work ethic, was strong-willed, stubborn, and tender-hearted."

We will leave for others what we should do with the soul.

Emily Bode 11/1/16 Emily Bode 11/1/16

Consumerism & the Scarcity Mindset

Nothing like looking at your budget the month after you get married to reevaluate your spending habits.

I'd been using the zero-dollar budget to keep track of my expenses and start saving last January when I took a Dave Ramsey Financial Peace class. I even paid off an entire student loan completely in 4 months! It was a mindset switch that took some getting used to but it was the most freeing move I've ever made with my finances.

I fell off the wagon right before our September wedding and haven't done my healthy habit since. I definitely didn't budget for 3 sets of fake eyelashes, acne cream for my stress-induced breakouts, and all the other shit I got at Target days before our wedding (like a white case for my sunglasses because it was WHITE, jeez).

Now, I'm back on the wagon, and this time with a partner! Joel's joining me for November's zero-dollar budget and I'm really excited (yes, these are the kinds of things that excite me, friends).

One of the most interesting observations through this process has been realizing how crazy consumerism is in America and this scarcity mindset that comes along with retail marketing. Go into any store right now and you'll see. The Christmas decorations were practically pushing out the Halloween decorations two weeks before Halloween even happened! Not only is this emotionally confusing (who sticks Santa next to skeletons, seriously?!) but it's reinforcing this idea that we'll never have enough or be enough.

When you don't have it in your budget to buy more sequined pumpkins for your holiday mantle – and you don't have credit cards to rationalize just one more package of glittered leaves – you start to get resourceful with what you do have. Your actual desires and wants start to surface as a result and you have two choices:

1. Save for next month when your budget renews and get all the sparkle at 70% off.
2. Go outside to discover a plethora of real leaves all around you, bring some inside and realize what you just had to have wasn't what you really needed.

Emily Bode 8/24/16 Emily Bode 8/24/16

My Bachelorette Celebration

A bachelorette party is similar to what you'd say about Las Vegas, Mexico, or anywhere else you're doing something you don't want others to know about...What happens there stays there. You want to keep people thinking you're a classy lady with strong morals and are definitely not dancing on a trolley pole to "Back Dat Ass Up". I'll continue with that tradition because it's one of the best parts of being a bachelorette. I wouldn't want to be the girl in the wig who ruins that for you. I was completely surprised with a trolley ride around town! We were definitely turning a few heads at the local bars and "on the strip" of Grand Haven, such a fun time!

One thing I will share is how absolutely amazing it was to celebrate with some of the most hilarious and down-to-earth women I know. Admittedly, I was very nervous about a bachelorette party and strongly considered not having one. I was uncomfortable with an entire day dedicated to me but I was rest-assured to "lighten up and enjoy this season of your life"!

So, yoga & beach day & wigs & sparkles, it was.

I was so honored with my friends who came to celebrate and my MOH who hosted the entire weekend (thanks Kate!). Knowing the travel, the planning, and the preparation it took for each one of them to arrive made me emotional the entire time. One of the things I wanted during our engagement was to celebrate this next phase of my life with women who are a huge influence in my life. Their advice, stories, and spirit have guided me through many moments in my life and here they were, doing it again, this time in neon wigs and bright dresses as #EmsBrideTribe2016.

There are moments in your life you are meant to celebrate. They are not given to you to worry away or to anticipate sadness. There isn't a hidden agenda or a strategy or a need to read between the lines. It is all play and laughter and silliness and fun. No need to over-analyze or ask why this is.

It is because you are here.
And they are here.
And we are all here celebrating love that was, love that is, and love that is about to be.

Here's to love and the one's who celebrate it with you, Em

Emily Bode 8/22/16 Emily Bode 8/22/16

Moodboard: Becoming the Bodes

clockwise 1 / 2 /3 / 4 / 5 / 6

Let's acknowledge Joel & I are 26 days away from Becoming the Bodes by sharing our wedding moodboard! Now's not the time to admit I stewed over this longer than I did my dress because the challenge today is only having 20-min. to talk about the moldboard.

This is a good limit to discuss wedding details at this point. I can only do it in 20-minute increments and with a glass of wine in my right hand. I think I'll put this on the weekend schedule. Something like, "if questions, bring wine for the answer".

Anyways, we'll be having an outdoor wedding on a bluff near a lake (rain or shine) so I wanted the overall mood to be very light, natural, and complimenting to our surroundings (trees, lake, sand).

Nude / blush / blues / lavender / fog / a bit of mint

It felt right for us, for the location, and for what I'm interested in right now – a lot of soft tones and textures. I'm really enjoying this season of soft I'm in.

It's ok to let your guard down.
It's ok to trust the good.
It's ok to be happy with a calm life.

All nestled in, Emily

Emily Bode 8/6/16 Emily Bode 8/6/16

Washed Away

We had a slow Sunday. Slept in, eventually found the coffee.

We took up the same space but held it differently. It was midday when we discovered a few inches of water covering our basement floor. Clothes and cardboard drowned in last night's storms. In a moment, we held a different space in the same way; strained, frustrated, action-mode. This wasn't the "getting on the water as soon as we can" we had planned for today. But the Universe showed up – or rather demanded we pay attention – forcing us to look at our life. All that we have, how easily it can be swept away in the darkness of night while we sleep.

We made the best of the clean-up, smiled at each other in between dragging wet piles of carpet up the stairs and drying cement floors.

This is our mess, let's tackle it together.

As the fan whirred and the last of the carpet sat in a defeated pile on the lawn, I looked out from our stoop as a heap of exhaustion and thought, "Thank you for saving what we need and clearing out what we don't."

Emily Bode 8/5/16 Emily Bode 8/5/16

Moodboard: The Mountains Are Calling

1 / 2 / 3 / 4

Aghh, the hardest part about this challenge is the 20-minute limit. The poking & prodding urge to change placement or image or or or... after time's up is like a nervous tick to me. Perfectionists dissolve! It is a trick.

I will look back on this next week & think wow, this is really something & completely forget all the internal struggle of the uneven spaces between the 3 thin tree-filled boxes.

I was listening to my Bachelorette Beach Day playlist while doing this one so was really anticipating flamingos and tropical hues and bright energy. But it seems my mood is somewhere else – feeling her way to the honeymoon in the mountains (we redirected course from our original plan to Northern Michigan) where we discover new heights and relax into the mist and coziness at the beginning of fall and our first steps together in marriage.

Xo moody ones, Em

Emily Bode 7/20/16 Emily Bode 7/20/16

Bride Brain

I referred to myself as "the bride" for the first time during our engagement today. It was in an email to my #bridetribe (seriously, who am I?!) where I referenced Drake and told them to do their own makeup because most of them taught me how to do it, among other notes that were actually useful.

Many people have referred to me as the bride since October, of course. They've said things like, "What the bride wants, the bride gets" or "It's up to the bride to decide" or "Wow, I didn't think you'd be that type of bride."

But today, it was me calling me the bride.

Which is a minor but distinct difference. It's like when someone says you're an artist and you kind of brush it off like oh that's so kind of you to say because you don't believe you're an artist but want to keep the conversation going. Then one day you start to feel inside you that you are, in fact, an artist, and it's about damn time you began believing it for yourself.

Empowering. Intentional. An honor.

I am the bride (for now). I can't wait for how it feels when I first say, "Your wife" and "My husband" and "Our life."

Empowering. Intentional. An honor.