Thieves EO + Help From a Friend
We've been sick since Sunday, as I mentioned yesterday (still aching for the mountains!). I'd used my last few drops of thieves essential oil the night before and was slowly on the decline as I slogged through the afternoon at work.
So I put in a quick EO order with my friend, Amber, and complained to her about how I really haven't been taking care of myself lately and I'm not sure what to do about it. All my usual basics weren't working and feeling overworked between my full-time job and this favorite space of mine was leaving me exhausted, falling into bad food habits, and lack of movement.
Amber shared many great reminders about self-care, at-home cold remedies that don't involve medication (woo!), and some of her daily routines in the morning and before bed. I went with her nighttime routine last night – hot shower, a good book, and warm drink – and woke up wide awake this morning, feeling good! It was the first time I've had a full night's rest in over a month.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, sometimes we know how to take care of ourselves. We've made our own routines, have our own special remedies, and can get by when we need to. But more often than not, we need help. We need each other. And we need reminders from the people in our lives that it's ok, give yourself a break, and rest!
You can bet I'll be doing the same nightly routine tonight. I feel too good not to! What are some cold-weather remedies you have? How do you heal when you're drained?
Keep a lookout for Amber's new blog, The Earth Conscious Sisters for more health and wellness tips for mind, body, and soul. I'll share more about the logo I made for them once they've launched. I'm so excited about it!
Your Relaxed Mind
“A relaxed mind is a creative mind. ”
Sometimes it takes an adventure to a Northern Michigan island to get back to your relaxed mind. Other times it takes jumping in the car on a lazy Sunday to go see the November Supermoon rise over the bayou. And then there are other times where your relaxed mind wakes you up in the middle of the night and demands that you listen to her. That you must stay home because there is such a thing as working too much with your mind and not enough movement with your body. That you're worn out with all the list-making, tasks, and being there for everyone else but yourself. When your relaxed mind wakes you up, it's best you listen to her.
Because she is the real you.
This Week: Love & Links
I went to the YWCA Tribute! luncheon yesterday and saw a group of women being honored in their different industries for their service and change they're making in the West Michigan community. We gave each one of them a standing ovation. I left humbled and with the urge to serve.
This article about designers not being the same as artists turned me off until I began reading. I enjoyed the tough love perspective and resonated with Joe's examples of how to bring your creativity to a business meeting. The waters are hard to navigate because a lot of designers don't really talk about it. I'm happy Joe did. He's inspired me to talk more openly about being a graphic designer and the challenges associated with it.
To and from work I listened to Garance Dore's podcast Pardon My French on How to Build a Brand Your Own Way with Grace Bonney of Design*Sponge and Anna Bond of Rifle Paper Co. I respect each of these women so much as they've built their blogs and businesses from the ground up. I hope to do something similar someday. I also have Grace's new book, "In the Company of Women", on my Christmas wish list!
I have my eye on this buffalo plaid shirt and got a blush velvet duster on major sale this week for my Winter Capsule Wardrobe.
How has your week been?! What's been on your mind lately? Any fun design links I should know about?
Love, Em
A Moment of Silence
How can I know the way when I'm speaking out before looking inward? I need a moment of silence. This nation needs a moment of silence. Not to memorialize, not to give honor, not to remember a time in history. We all need a moment to ourselves. The answer is within you.
Soul
“We will leave for others what we should do with the soul.”
My grandma shared the history of our Irish heritage as a wedding gift last winter. I never knew our ancestry until the newspaper articles and a note listing our lineage.
It traced back to our great-great-great-grandma in Ireland. She came to America during the potato famine and lived with family in Chicago until she met my great-great-great-grandpa, a farmer in Michigan. She raised children on the farm, had an extreme work ethic, was strong-willed, stubborn, and tender-hearted.
We will leave for others what we should do with the soul.
I wanted to know more. Her inner thoughts, maybe her fears or names of other people she shared the boat with to get here. Her time in Chicago? Maybe life on the farm?
My curiosity might have something to do with the 20-some journals I've filled so far. One of the desires to write for Brave Girl. When I pass, there will be more information than anyone cares to know on my inner thoughts, my fears, the names of the people who have made an impact on my life. A lot of it could get lost in time, space, damage. Some of it will stay, hopefully, the most important stuff.
Maybe I'll be a great-great-great-grandma someday and my surviving family will say, "She had an extreme work ethic, was strong-willed, stubborn, and tender-hearted."
We will leave for others what we should do with the soul.
Consumerism & the Scarcity Mindset
Nothing like looking at your budget the month after you get married to reevaluate your spending habits.
I'd been using the zero-dollar budget to keep track of my expenses and start saving last January when I took a Dave Ramsey Financial Peace class. I even paid off an entire student loan completely in 4 months! It was a mindset switch that took some getting used to but it was the most freeing move I've ever made with my finances.
I fell off the wagon right before our September wedding and haven't done my healthy habit since. I definitely didn't budget for 3 sets of fake eyelashes, acne cream for my stress-induced breakouts, and all the other shit I got at Target days before our wedding (like a white case for my sunglasses because it was WHITE, jeez).
Now, I'm back on the wagon, and this time with a partner! Joel's joining me for November's zero-dollar budget and I'm really excited (yes, these are the kinds of things that excite me, friends).
One of the most interesting observations through this process has been realizing how crazy consumerism is in America and this scarcity mindset that comes along with retail marketing. Go into any store right now and you'll see. The Christmas decorations were practically pushing out the Halloween decorations two weeks before Halloween even happened! Not only is this emotionally confusing (who sticks Santa next to skeletons, seriously?!) but it's reinforcing this idea that we'll never have enough or be enough.
When you don't have it in your budget to buy more sequined pumpkins for your holiday mantle – and you don't have credit cards to rationalize just one more package of glittered leaves – you start to get resourceful with what you do have. Your actual desires and wants start to surface as a result and you have two choices:
1. Save for next month when your budget renews and get all the sparkle at 70% off.
2. Go outside to discover a plethora of real leaves all around you, bring some inside and realize what you just had to have wasn't what you really needed.
It's All Messy
“It’s all messy: the hair, the bed, the words, the heart. Life.”
Mess is something I rarely embrace. I'm usually cleaning up before it's dirty (washing dishes are the exception). One of the things I like about blogging is it appears everything is in order and that I have my life figured out, a direct opposite of how I truly feel as I navigate chaotic waters, the endless uncertainty from one wave to the next.
But messy is what we can all connect on. Because life is a mess.
I think the one's who embrace this are the one's living fully, soaking up one moment to the next with little desire to control the outcome. The feeling of control is just a safety net anyways, isn't it?
The hair rarely goes to plan, all tangles & wildness.
The bed, well, I like what a messy bed is the result of.
The words, always trying to find the right one's.
The heart, by nature is a ball of emotions being set free.
And Life, when you think about it, would you want it any other way?
My Bachelorette Celebration
A bachelorette party is similar to what you'd say about Las Vegas, Mexico, or anywhere else you're doing something you don't want others to know about...What happens there stays there. You want to keep people thinking you're a classy lady with strong morals and are definitely not dancing on a trolley pole to "Back Dat Ass Up". I'll continue with that tradition because it's one of the best parts of being a bachelorette. I wouldn't want to be the girl in the wig who ruins that for you. I was completely surprised with a trolley ride around town! We were definitely turning a few heads at the local bars and "on the strip" of Grand Haven, such a fun time!
One thing I will share is how absolutely amazing it was to celebrate with some of the most hilarious and down-to-earth women I know. Admittedly, I was very nervous about a bachelorette party and strongly considered not having one. I was uncomfortable with an entire day dedicated to me but I was rest-assured to "lighten up and enjoy this season of your life"!
So, yoga & beach day & wigs & sparkles, it was.
I was so honored with my friends who came to celebrate and my MOH who hosted the entire weekend (thanks Kate!). Knowing the travel, the planning, and the preparation it took for each one of them to arrive made me emotional the entire time. One of the things I wanted during our engagement was to celebrate this next phase of my life with women who are a huge influence in my life. Their advice, stories, and spirit have guided me through many moments in my life and here they were, doing it again, this time in neon wigs and bright dresses as #EmsBrideTribe2016.
There are moments in your life you are meant to celebrate. They are not given to you to worry away or to anticipate sadness. There isn't a hidden agenda or a strategy or a need to read between the lines. It is all play and laughter and silliness and fun. No need to over-analyze or ask why this is.
It is because you are here.
And they are here.
And we are all here celebrating love that was, love that is, and love that is about to be.
Here's to love and the one's who celebrate it with you, Em
Moodboard: Becoming the Bodes
Let's acknowledge Joel & I are 26 days away from Becoming the Bodes by sharing our wedding moodboard! Now's not the time to admit I stewed over this longer than I did my dress because the challenge today is only having 20-min. to talk about the moldboard.
This is a good limit to discuss wedding details at this point. I can only do it in 20-minute increments and with a glass of wine in my right hand. I think I'll put this on the weekend schedule. Something like, "if questions, bring wine for the answer".
Anyways, we'll be having an outdoor wedding on a bluff near a lake (rain or shine) so I wanted the overall mood to be very light, natural, and complimenting to our surroundings (trees, lake, sand).
Nude / blush / blues / lavender / fog / a bit of mint
It felt right for us, for the location, and for what I'm interested in right now – a lot of soft tones and textures. I'm really enjoying this season of soft I'm in.
It's ok to let your guard down.
It's ok to trust the good.
It's ok to be happy with a calm life.
All nestled in, Emily
26
Today is my birthday. I am 26.
I woke up to balloons on the ceiling, sunflowers on my dresser, and an inflatable flamingo on my floor. Her name is Fran, and she'll be accompanying me to my Bachelorette beach day tomorrow. Joel put them there yesterday with the best bacon card a girl could ask for before heading north for his Bachelor weekend because he is the most thoughtful person I know. I am taking none of it for granted as I walk around smiling from ear to ear today.
Here are my highlights from the past 6 months because August is my personal new year and I'm a shameless Leo (probably the same thing):
Got a promotion at work
Traveled to Aruba with Joel, my first time out of the country!
Started a zero-budget to increase my savings and lower my student loans
Paid off my first student loan in 4 months (thanks Dave Ramsey!)
Had my brother live with us which brought more happiness than challenges (& love that he's now living closer!)
Discovered a lot of family history as a wedding gift from one of my Grandma's (we're Irish!)
Helped Joel build our kitchen table*
Celebrated our upcoming marriage at 2 bridal showers with women who love me
Marriage counseling with our officiant initiated great conversations for us
*By helping, I mean watching sparks fly across the yard nervously as Joel trimmed the metal legs down.
It's important to recognize all the beautiful things that happen to you, for you, because of you. It's important to acknowledge our celebrations more than brood over what is not. Seeing my highlights gives the heavy stuff less power over me. It changes my perspective and ultimately becomes the dialogue to my life.
I try to see the world through rose-colored glasses. Most times that is what saves me. If you want to witness the ultimate example of faith in humanity, read The Girl You Left Behind by Jojo Moyes.
I'm off to celebrate being closer to my 30's than my 20's & my last month as a single lady with my best girlfriends, flamingos, and wigs.
Much to celebrate! Happy weekend, my friends. –Em
Moodboard: The Mountains Are Calling
Aghh, the hardest part about this challenge is the 20-minute limit. The poking & prodding urge to change placement or image or or or... after time's up is like a nervous tick to me. Perfectionists dissolve! It is a trick.
I will look back on this next week & think wow, this is really something & completely forget all the internal struggle of the uneven spaces between the 3 thin tree-filled boxes.
I was listening to my Bachelorette Beach Day playlist while doing this one so was really anticipating flamingos and tropical hues and bright energy. But it seems my mood is somewhere else – feeling her way to the honeymoon in the mountains (we redirected course from our original plan to Northern Michigan) where we discover new heights and relax into the mist and coziness at the beginning of fall and our first steps together in marriage.
Xo moody ones, Em
This is August
When was the last time you caught fireflies in a mason jar?
When was the last time you heard crickets sing at the edge of a dirt road?
Do you remember the last time you swung from a swing that hung from a tree?
Or the time you slept in your bathing suit to be first to the water? The boat? The raft?
Oh, and what about the time you laid in the grass, smelled its fresh-cut, looking to animals in the clouds?
Or the time you caught toads in the cattails as the sunset?
You were all muddy feet and moments you now wish you could have back again.
This is August, my love. Soak in the lazy heat and take every bit of it for the last time.
Moodboard: Namaslay
I gave myself 20 minutes to create this moodboard. I love the challenge of racing against the clock with inspiration pieces like this because it removes the temptation to second-guess. There is literally no time for it.
I also like seeing what bubbles up when you remove your sense of control. I originally started out with images of illustrated moss, a rustic toolbox, and brown medicine bottles. But apparently, my soul was feeling a little softer, delicate, feminine with a protective cactus barrier than I even realized. It just showed up.
Which is really a life lesson for another time because this was just a simple challenge to compliment my coffee this morning. I'm happy with the results.
All the vibes, hard & soft. – Em
Bride Brain
I referred to myself as "the bride" for the first time during our engagement today. It was in an email to my #bridetribe (seriously, who am I?!) where I referenced Drake and told them to do their own makeup because most of them taught me how to do it, among other notes that were actually useful.
Many people have referred to me as the bride since October, of course. They've said things like, "What the bride wants, the bride gets" or "It's up to the bride to decide" or "Wow, I didn't think you'd be that type of bride."
But today, it was me calling me the bride.
Which is a minor but distinct difference. It's like when someone says you're an artist and you kind of brush it off like oh that's so kind of you to say because you don't believe you're an artist but want to keep the conversation going. Then one day you start to feel inside you that you are, in fact, an artist, and it's about damn time you began believing it for yourself.
Empowering. Intentional. An honor.
I am the bride (for now). I can't wait for how it feels when I first say, "Your wife" and "My husband" and "Our life."
Empowering. Intentional. An honor.
7 Years Ago
Joel & I recently stopped for dinner in the college town we met at 7 years ago. We heard there was a new brewery in town so we had to go. We immediately recognized it as the old sandwich shop we'd go to on paycheck Friday – $8 sandwiches were a luxury back then, for real – and asked our waitress if she knew the name of it before it became a brewery.
"I don't know, I wasn't around here then."
Of course not because you were taking your first driving lesson then and damnit why can't my cutoff jeans look that great on me?! What I'm trying to say is she made us feel old. How has this much time passed? Weren't we just here with last night's gossip as a side to Reubens and turkey clubs?
We sat out on the patio and as I looked around, I was met with a feeling you can only get by going to a familiar place as a different person than you were when you first stumbled into it.
Seven years ago, I pulled up to this tiny town with whatever would fit into my mom's Jeep. I moved in with a roommate I met that day. We made a champagne toast to wherever the year would take us. We weren't concerned with making plans but riding the wave until something came our way (a good lesson still). I had an abundance of freedom I didn't know how to handle so a string of bad decisions taught me who I was and who I wasn't.
Fortunately, the champagne toast led me to a front porch where the most confident and carefree guy I ever saw sat. I had a microlens to him, no idea of the other names I was being introduced to. Butterflies fluttered throughout my entire body. I knew he would be a part of my life from that moment forward. It's such a difficult moment to describe. I've been trying to find the words ever since but they always fall short of how I really feel.
I'll try again...
It's like I discovered a secret that the Universe was waiting for me to stumble upon. Like all the moments I wondered why the hell the thing I wanted to work out wasn't working out, it responded,
“Just be patient. I promise there's something better down the path. You're just not ready for it yet.”
On that porch it hit me.
Oh, he's the "something better down the path". This is the one you meant for me to meet & now I know with everything in my body that this is who you were guiding me to.
I wanted to know everything about Joel. I wanted to be surrounded by his laugh, his goofiness, watch the way people were immediately at ease in his presence. So I followed my desire with the strongest faith I've ever had and I'm still following it. It reminds me of what can blossom with hope and faith amidst uncertainty.
We drank our crappy beers on the patio of the new brewery and relived those years when we were drinking crappy beers on the old porch at Joel's house. We were looking at our beginning with new eyes, as partners two months away from making a promise to each other that is rooted back to my first butterfly moment.
"Can you believe we're here?" he asked.
I thought back to the toast. The front porch. The way his eyes lit up because he knew it too.
"Yes, yes I can."
All the love, Em
Image c/o Tifani Lyn
All That White Space
When I dubbed this space Brave Girl 2 years ago. When I debated between Mrs. Eaves & Liberator as my brand typeface, I didn't know it would unleash the deep dusty corners within me and put them on display. I felt exposed every time I opened up a new post.
All that white space.
As in-the-moment as words from your head to your fingers can craft.
The soul-dripping writing I do for Brave Girl stems from the type of conversations I enjoy having with other people. I like to talk about topics deeper than the weather, especially if we've just met. Ground me in your current passions, tell me of the revelation you had this morning when you saw your reflection in the mirror. If you begin our conversation by reiterating what I can see outside that window, you've lost my interest.
Dig deeper.
Desiring these types of connections is both curse & blessing. It's kept me from enjoying fun gatherings, light-hearted conversations, and from having friends in every corner of my little world. Curse.
But I have faith in my innate innocence, respond to my intuition consistently, and honor my relationships with all living creatures. Blessing.
There are endless blessings to this desire of mine but, admittedly, it's a poor framework to construct a solid personal brand from. Foundational? Yes. Seemingly flighty? Entirely.
I've laid some beautiful groundwork in this space over the last 2 years that's allowed me to blossom creatively. I'm unwavering in my discovery. I'm a curious person unapologetic for the internal pull to constantly explore all layers of my creativity. If that was the sole purpose of this space, I am gratefully fulfilled by it.
But I can't let it go. Wondering what's next for Brave Girl keeps me up at night.
What is this space calling to be evolved to?
Have a Little Help
I should not be writing this (my calendar has me slotted for client work right now & I haven't quite finished my morning admin work) but I must be writing this (I cannot keep ignoring my pulse in the name of productivity).
Do you ever notice that after you've run yourself ragged, that's when people start coming out of the woodwork to help you? & you're grateful yet curious as to why they're showing themselves to you now? It feels like magic to me. That has been my week & I keep crying, partly from exhaustion, but also in a releasing sense that I have asked for help & people have offered it to me so selflessly.
A few things they've said:
"Let it spin & admire the patterns".
"You're running. Please stop so you can build".
"You went to bed in a cocoon & woke up a butterfly."
"Those that have the most invested are the least likely to give in."
"You're the right person for this."
Why now? Because I desperately need it. I wait a little too long to ask for help. I want to do everything, be everything, see everything & have everything. The people who know me best are patient with this. I think it's good to pursue all of these things until it throws you off balance. You cannot get back into balance by yourself. It's okay to depend on others to help you realign. They may need you someday to help them realign & you will be there.
Thinking of you, Em
Foreign Words
Il Bel Far Niente: The Art of Doing Nothing
It's ironic that this Italian phrase is what I was drawn to this week since I haven't been in this state of chaos since my last semester of college. I suppose we often long for what we don't have.
Mama Moon & Joel have this joke about being sooo busy. They think it's silly that we walk around claiming how busy we are like it's a badge of honor or an excuse to be unkind. Sometimes people say it for you, "Oh, you must be so busy..." or they preface their request for a favor, "I know you're probably busy but can you...?". Mama Moon responds to these statements beautifully,.
“No, I'm actually not very busy. I simply didn't make that a priority."
You are never too busy to:
Look someone in the eye & smile.
Take 1 minute to look around you, you're breathing for gosh sake.
Have lunch, really taste your food. Let it be an experience with an enlightening conversation instead of a backdrop to your screen full of to-dos.
There is a difference between busy (frazzled, burnt out, bitter) & full (balanced, energetic, lucid). I'm choosing full. Happy Friday, friends! Em
Week 14/52 of the #52handlettered project with Miranti Kayess (formerly Pen & Peplum)
Motivational Mantra
I do not know how to relax.
I haven't relaxed since I was about 5 when my dad used to braid my hair before school & let me pick out my own outfits. By braid, I mean a series of knots that kept my hair out of my face except for the strays that stuck to my cheeks due to the applesauce at lunch. By outfits, I mean a rainbow of colors that didn't match because I was going to call the shots on what I wore.
Ok, maybe I've never known how to relax but life brings you what you need when the time is right. Right now I need to ride the wave because I'm exhausted with trying to control everything, with worrying if I'm saying the right words at the right moment, and with the hustle that is only hard when you're not being kind to yourself.
You can't calm the storm...so stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass. — Timber Hawkeye
So when my Jeep windows won't defrost as I'm driving down the highway, after we already paid someone to fix that problem months ago, I'm ridin' the wave man.
When there are clumps of Tiger's hair throughout the house ONE DAY after I vacuum every room & every rug. Cool dude, ridin' the wave.
When I look at my task list at 4pm & only 2 have been completed because the sun came out & blew a warm wind up to the doorstep that told me, "Write, write, write. The checkboxes will be here when you return."
Well, you know what I'm going to say...I'm ridin’ the wave.
Love, Em
Week 13/52 of the #52handlettered project with Miranti Kayess (formerly Pen & Peplum)
A Lyric
"I've only got one shot, won't waste it on a shadow box. I'll stand right here." — Undermine by Hayden Panettiere
One of the things I love about personal projects is how much they trickle into client projects. What started as me writing on a coffee cup evolved into product photoshoot practice for an upcoming client.
It also helped me iron out some wrinkles that I won't have to spend my time on when it comes to styling my client's product, giving me clarity to focus on their beautiful pieces instead of technical difficulties. I'm going to wrap this up to a win-win-win. Standing here, Em
PS. Anyone else a Nashville fan?! Juliette Barnes is the kind of tornado I can relate to.
Week 12/52 of the #52handlettered project with Miranti Kayess (formerly Pen & Peplum)